This is my first blog of the year, so happy new year if you are one of the viewers who have found me by googling Paula Abdul’s hair and 80’s fashion.
Odd number years are generally a bit rubbish for me – so I am thrilled that we are in evens again this year. Hurrah!
2011 started off as a really great year for me. I was enjoying running which is something that has never happened before. At one point I was clocking up 11 mile runs which, for me was such an achievement. It took over my leisure time – so much so that I had decided to give netball up for a season so that I could concentrate on running and entering races. Oh yes! I was very fit and lost loads of weight in the first quarter of the year.
Until I slipped my disk in May – and then my life took a drastic turn. I could barely walk, no idea how I managed to work during what was a very busy period with exam boards and graduation. It also affected my confidence and I found myself suffering with depression and the panic attacks reared their ugly head.
Yes May to September were a particular tough few months. Thank god I have a great husband who took care of me, and sacrificed our “holiday of a lifetime” to the USA because I was unfit both physically and mentally to travel.
I don’t know exactly how I slipped the disk. Having woken up one Tuesday morning and feeling the most excruciating pain run down my buttock and leg – it’s a mystery. There are a few things that happened during that period, one being that a guy ran into the back of my car while I was stationary – however, there was no damage to the car so I never did do anything about that. Swine –he could be the reason why I spent my summer in misery.
The latter part of the year was fine. A much needed holiday to Portugal was just the order for the family to spend some quality time together, and we got away to Germany for Xmas which was lovely.
So what am I hoping for 2012?
Well definitely no more injuries. I am hoping to start running properly again, and play some gentle netball every now and again.
I generally don’t make new years resolutions as they are so hard to keep. Yes I need to lose weight, yes I could do with not drinking alcohol for a while and each year I want to stop biting my nails.
Instead of resolutions I give myself goals. So a few goals I want to achieve this year.
- Pass the first year of my Masters degree
- Do an activity that I have never done before
- Visit a place I have never been before
- See my family more than I did in 2011
- Each month the husband and I are going to take it in turns to organise an activity for us to do as a couple.
Hopefully I will achieve all those goals and 2012 will be an eventful and fulfilling year.
As this year draws to a close, I realise how little I have been blogging since I really injured my back, which was back in May.
It’s amazing at how an injury such as a slipped disc can change your whole outlook on life. I know there are many people in far worse health than I have been, but it has been really tough.
I look back to how fit I was in April when I completed theSalford10k. I felt amazing, both physically and mentally and my passion had grown for running. My longest run being 11.5 miles which at the start of the year I would never have anticipated that I could achieve.
Then 21st May 2011 I woke up with the worse pain I have ever experienced in my left buttock and leg. The next four months felt like hell. I tried chiropractic, intense physiotherapy and massage. I felt the most stress ever in July when I was still crippled in pain and due to go to the States for 3 weeks with my family. In the end I wasn’t fit enough to travel, both physically and mentally.
Oh yes mentally! That was a massive shock to the system. I wasn’t prepared for how depressed I would feel. Injuries are not just a physical thing, but a mental one too. I suffered a couple of panic attacks which I hadn’t suffered with for years, so that really knocked my confidence. I didn’t feel myself, I had become desperate and pathetic – needing other people to keep me calm. How the hell had that happened? I hated myself every day that I felt like that. My poor husband must have felt so suffocated.
At the time of writing I have began running just a mile every other day. This feels like I am on the mend, but still hoping that my netball days are not behind me and that I will still be in a position to be able to play again. I am awaiting an MRI scan results too, although the scan was taken three months too late given that the pain has diminished somewhat.
I’ll never take my health for granted again. Being incapacitated and having to rely on other people is the worst experience ever. The darkest days being when my sons had to help me put my socks, shoes and tie my laces for me. I hope I never have to go through that again.